I Am Robot

I have been on several dates with the Beard.  Anastasia tells me he's a good guy.  He's sweet, texting me all the time telling me I'm beautiful.  He thinks of thoughtful dates.  I mean like seeing Princess Bride on the big screen and fancy restaurant type dates. We have fun together. He brought me flowers.  He drank non-alcoholic beverages at my 4th of July party with my crazy family.  He helped me shop for accent shit for work.  He took me to the circus.

But....

But........

Sigh.

He kisses me like we are in junior high.  Or we need a safe word.  I'm completely comfortable around him with the exception that there is no passion.  I have been hanging out with this dude since the end of May and he hasn't tried ANYTHING.

So last week we went to a nice dinner and comedy show.  I went out and bought a nice new dress, bra and undies.  Not expecting anything, but to get my mojo going in general.  It was fun, he even made sure that I had a good view after some head bobbing.  I had tried to probe some info out of him about prior relationships but discovered he had non.  26 years old, recovering alcoholic and no prior relationships.  End of the night.... Barely even some tongue.

What am I doing?  This is not dating!  He doesn't ask about my work.  We don't talk about his plans other than paying off DUI fines and his apartment smells like dog piss.  I have finally regressed to college.

How difficult is it for me to date?  Let's see... Two years ago Chloe was still hung up on her ex, now she has an amazing boyfriend who is looking to propose in the next few months.  They're freaking inseparable, which both makes me sick and happy at the same time.  Kelly, is married.  Anastasia has a steady boy toy.  And me?  I'm still reliving the freaking Principle and Work Guy (1st out of country the second getting engaged.  Oh yeah, the EX is having a baby!)

I was watching New Girl yesterday and realized it has been YEARS since anyone has kissed me because they felt compelled.  YEARS.

To end this sorry note....

I signed back up on internet dating today.

Sigh.  More beer for me.