To be or not to be... a Cougar

My weekend was unusually busy. Friday I was off so I indulged in some hot yoga before driving down to CG to pick up the beasties and clean offices. Saturday I had to work until three followed by dumping of chemicals in the pool followed by accidental dumping of dog into the pool followed by various stages of cleaning up both the dog and I. Mel and her man were moving so I helped them out until around 12:30am. Back at home I drank too much beer and went to bed late. Sunday it was more moving (my biceps thank me) then a quick nap before my date with the baby... aka Jacob.

The entire time I kept thinking to myself, it doesn't matter what you wear, you're too old for him. Who cares about your hair? You're too old for him. This is a waste of time! Too old, too old, too old! Everyone I bragged to about being hit on by the baby was encouraging me to go out and have some fun. But all I could think was that even if he is the nicest, most mature kid in the world getting involved with him is a mistake. And I am just too damn old to keep making these mistakes.

Determined to have a good time and anticipating he will either realize for himself this is idiotic or I will let the lad down as politely as possible.

We met at Tempe Marketplace for a beer at a bar with live music. I wore my "date" jeans, black boots and a black sleeveless low-cut shirt. If I'd have owned anything animal print I would have worn that instead. He was waiting at the bar in a flannel shirt with the top three buttons undone to reveal he shaves his chest, rolled up to the elbows... very Jacob-ish. We hugged, he bought me a beer and I began to get nervous. Sweat rolled down my back and I mentally berated myself for going out with a good looking guy. You're always supposed to stay away from those!

We sat at our table but the music was too loud to talk, even if it was a great country cover band. I was quite taken with the bearded, long haired drummer who started drinking his beer in the middle of Amazing Grace and popped a cigarette crookedly in his mouth before playing. That is the kind I would have gone for when I was the baby's age.

I learned that Jacob lives in a house with 4 roommates, 3 guys and a girl. His last relationship was long distance with a girl in Florida whom he flew out to see once a month or more if he could afford it and sent her flowers regularly. He works out 3 times a week, was a band nerd all the way through college and belongs to the band alum whatever. He confessed he was the chubby fat kid until he took up football in high school and shot up 6 inches. He has an awkward walk, very straight. Probably from all the marching band, but mostly it revealed he's not as confident as he should be. I almost wanted to take him under my wing and teach him how to use his looks to his advantage.

Sigh. Nothing could come from this. I talked about my life, how I was at his age. Jacob was nice to talk to and even though I thought him attractive, I kept seeing some kid I used to babysit all grown up in front of me. If I were one of Jacob's same age friends I would have told him how stupid he was for dating such an old broad. What does he want from me.

As we talked about relationships and such I confronted the giant purple elephant.

"You know, I started dating the EX when I was 19, and by the time we finally broke up I was 26. Totally different person by that time. I knew where I wanted to go at 22 but somewhere between that age and 26 life changes you and things are different. Everyone says that, but you can't fathom it until you've experienced it."

"I get that. I like hanging out with you." And he grinned. It took all of my self control not to roll my eyes or groan.

"I like hanging out with you too, you're very sweet. But people who are 22 are looking to have fun and see what comes, people who are 30 are looking to you know.."

"Settle down."

"Exactly. They realize there's not as much time as there used to be."

"Are you looking to settle down?"

"Yes I am. That's why I started doing the internet dating thing."

Then he started asking about why someone as beautiful as I would have to use the internet to get a date. Ahh, this is why I'm here! To be flattered and get an ego boost. I wanted to lean forward and smack some sense into this boy! Go get some young girl who will be over the moon for your attention!

He insisted on walking me to my car and I worried he might try to kiss me. The Cougar in me thought it would be entertaining, the Old Maid thought it was just plain wrong. When he came in for a hug I turned my head and he kissed my hair/cheek. Driving home I shook my head and hoped this was all over. I don't know what the guy wants from me, or if he's just crazy. An hour later I sent a text thanking him for taking me out. It was only polite.

J: Thank you for coming. Had a great time. Hope we can hang out again sometime soon.

I ignored the text, but the next day he was back asking me out again. With any other guy I would have written "What's a girl to do?"