I'm Back!

Ok, so again I conveniently forgot to cancel my Match.com membership.  Auto-pay is a bitch in any industry apparently. That being said, I started scanning again, still uninterested in the prospect of any man but feeling like I should put myself out there just in case.  But let's get real...  This is never going to happen.

New guy winks at me, sends me an email asking if we should start right off with a 20 questions game.  He's pretty funny so I bite. I mean, I'm not doing anything else right now and this might be a welcome distraction from doing other things like fixing my pool, doing yard work or cleaning the house.  The email-palooza begins!  I shoot him 5 questions, he comes back with answers and questions, I respond with answers to my own questions, his questions, more questions!  It is highly entertaining!  I am laughing!  What the hell is going on here?

It seems like eventually, but is really only after about two days, he sent me his phone number.  Our emails turn to texts.  He's funny, smart, quick witted, and best of all he thinks I am the same.  After a particularly crappy day at work, the one where Work Guy's Girlfriend comes in to make a domestic appearance and I spill tea all over myself, I went home to drown my sorrows in beer.  New Match Guy is texting me like crazy and after about 4 bottles I think "Why the hell doesn't he just call me?"  So I call him.

He was laughing when he answered the phone, knowing full well I was having a beer night.  We talked for two hours, me being hilariously witty (or at least thinking I am) and he egging me on.  We have a very similar sense of humor, which is scary.  He recently took in a cat his co-worker couldn't keep any more, didn't think I was strange for keeping a zoo.  His dating history is like reading the cliff notes of mine: With one person for 5 years, living together, separating. Took time off, dated another for a few months.  Didn't work.  Dated another for almost a year, crazy.

All of our conversation was great, text and phone, that I was beginning to think there would be no way I could be attracted to this individual if I ever actually met him.  We agreed to meet up for a couple drinks Saturday afternoon.  He had plans to meet a friend downtown at 7pm, which gave us both an excuse to bow out at a reasonable hour.  I was intrigued to see if this was fabricated or not.

We met at a bar around the corner from my place at 4pm, or in my case 4:12pm.  I was glad I'd warned him I am habitually late to every function on earth.  He found it hilarious that I was honest.  Parked at a booth, I could better evaluate this potential suitor.  Taller than me in my platforms, has all of his hair in a receding fashion most men in their mid-30's have without losing the thickness.  Gap between his front bottom teeth that is slightly annoying.  Eyes remind me of the Principal, round, smiling, crinkling up when he thinks he's been funny.  Arms were toned but not obnoxiously.  I found him quite attractive.

The world must be about to end because I find him attractive, fun, disarming, comfortable, and easy to talk to.  Sitting there sipping my Stella, talking about how my dog once ate 5lbs of dog food and proceeded to shit and puke for 12 hours and he was still looking at me like I was fascinating.  None of this is making any sense.  He grabs my hand across the table from time to time just to touch me...

His friend bailed on their 7pm plans.  I was dying to ask if there had really been any plans or if it was his escape hatch, but I kept my mouth shut and thought "I'll just ask him after we're dating for a while."  What the WHAT?  Where had this thought surfaced from?  I barely know this dude!

Another crazy connection between us= he lives next door to the very condo I had lived in with the EX before moving to my house.  He moved in a year after I left, knows all my old neighbors and haunts the same down-the-street bars I used to meet Ange, Kelly and Markie at.  He smoked up until December when he took up running and quit cold turkey, but understands the fact that I can't quit until I decide to quit.

So that takes us out to a mostly deserted patio where I have a couple of cigarettes and we continue to jammer away at each other.  I'm telling some story, this guy is looking at me really intently.  He has the "I'm going to kiss you look" on his face and my mind hops into overdrive.  With eyes darting back and forth, anywhere but forward, this is what shoots through my head while I'm telling him some pointless story about God knows what:

-Is he seriously going to kiss me?
-This is the middle of a first date/meet-up, is it acceptable to kiss on the first date without implying you're easy?
-What if he's a bad kisser?
-What if he kisses away the pound of make-up I applied and realizes I'm not attractive?
-Does his wanting to kiss me so early make him a lech?
-Do I want him to kiss me?
-Should I lean away and start into my new-found belief system that I need to take things slow?
-Should I judo chop him in the head?
-Should I tell him he's looking at me funny?
-Would telling him that he's looking at me funny just make him jump into action more quickly or would it turn him off the idea completely?
-Why had Insurance Guy said he wanted to kiss me but never looked at me with even a semblance of this expression after saying how interested he was?
-What am I doing here?
-I'm kind of hungry....
-Could we get food?
-Would suggesting food be too forward?  I mean he is paying for the drinks and all...

But then he stood up to go to the bathroom, leaned over and kissed me.  Right there. It wasn't tentative or demanding, just like a statement.  Here, I want to kiss you and I am.  To my utter astonishment, I kissed him back.  It was more than nice.

For the next hour or so we continued to talk, hold hands (yes that still icks me out quite a bit), and kissing.   It felt normal, like a routine I have enjoyed with this stranger for a long time.  I declared it was 9pm and time to go so he walked me to my car, which I had unconsciously parked next to his.  I would like to say we kissed, hugged and parted with a sigh, but alas.... I made out with him like a crazy hormonal teenager.

Up against the side of my car, bodies entwined, kissing fervently, nipping at necks, ears, arms.  Laughing, joking.  I realized this was the first time I was actually turned on to a person rather than the action since last having my heart plopped in a blender.  It was dizziness coupled with warning.  Stop here.  You're getting very close to the New Year Resolution you made not to make any what the hell decisions....  This is a first date with an Internet dude.  Keep. It. In. Your. Pants.

So, as we are intimately wrapped in each other's arms, probably to the horror of all bar patrons passing by, I tell him.  I will not be jumping into bed with someone I am not emotionally intimate with first.  He laughs, pulling my face up to look at him which horrifies me as I am fairly certain my makeup has dissolved.  But he makes me meet his eye.  He doesn't mind waiting a month or a year, as long as it isn't forever.

Damn men, they know how to work it.  This made me just want him more.  But I extricated myself from his grasp with more kisses, got into my car and headed home.