My First Online In-Person Date

"Awwww! The Katester has a date! Whoo-hoo!" hooted my co-worker Mark. He thought my return to dating was going to be very entertaining. Everybody at work did. My mom was practically foaming at the mouth with excitement while my dad watched TV pretending he had no idea what was going on. My sister was worried.. but from a distance.

When did my attempt at a love life become popular? I need to learn how to keep things to myself...

The day of my first date with the dude I met online was hell. Everybody at work wanted to know where we were going, what he was like, what I was going to wear... I hadn't even thought about what I was going to wear. Shit. I guess that is sort of important.

Mark kept teasing me, saying I'd be doing the nasty in no time at all. Kelly kept giving me advice that was supposed to be emotionally nurturing. My sister kept texting me. The nerves in my teeth even hurt. Why had I decided to do this? Oh yeah, peer pressure.

At five o'clock I went home and beautified. There was hair to be washed, blow-dried and curled. Make-up to be applied. Clothes to unbury, dewrinkled in the dryer and tossed aside if they made me look fat. 40 minutes before our date I was dressed and my hair looked fabulous. Too bad I had to go out.

We had decided to meet at an Italian restaurant somewhere between both our cities. I attempted to make my nerves deaf by rocking out to Paramore as loud as my car would allow. Five minutes before I arrived at the place, I had an intense urge to turn around and go back home.

But that's what wussies do. And I am NOT a wussy.

I waited in front of the place, unable to believe I was early for once in my life. My spot gave me a clear shot of the online dude as he walked up. If I could have turned invisible I would have. Wasn't it bad enough this was practically a blind date? Did he really have to bring me roses?

Besides the flowers the date was nice. My stomach was so sucked in I could hardly eat my eggplant parm, and I even passed on getting a beer. Conversation was difficult with lots of awkward pauses, but that's kind of normal, right? He had a nice smile. Seemed sincere. Nice to look at in a shy, boy next door kind of way.

After we had talked and ate and it was time to go he walked me to my car. Nice, right? When we got there he gave me the world's quickest, barely touch, "she-might-have-cooties" hug and ran away. Well, he didn't literally run away but he moved out of there damn fast.

I kept it together. Waited until he left the parking lot, way before me. Then I cried exactly two tears and cranked up the rock.

He must have thought I was fat. Why didn't I lose some weight before I started dating? Or maybe I was too nervous? What if he thought I was ugly or boring? Did I have food in my teeth? Each time the tears would threaten again I would sing along with Hayley Williams. Pretend I didn't care.

This dating shit is emotional.

When I got home I called Markie to whine. I hadn't intended but he said I didn't sound perky. I broke the date down, looked at it from all angles. Mark, bless his big Philly heart was such a sweetie and told me that if this guy didn't want me he was fucking nuts. He made me feel a little better.

Then the online dude texted me. He was worried he'd been too nervous at dinner. He said he hadn't expected me to be so beautiful, which was probably a line. Hell, I don't care if it was a line! A guy was attracted enough to feed me a line!

Whoo-hoo!