The "We" Topic

Saturday night date came around I headed over to his place with lead in my stomach. The dreads were circling through my body and I just wanted to go home, get another crappy romance novel and a six pack. If I chickened out though, he might suspect something was up and I would have to endure another week of worry.... So I drove onward.

After loosening up, and much talk of the dog, I brought up the job. The Principal explained what he would be doing, the company and the town. All of which I had researched extensively while at my lame ass job. I let him talk.

Nervously I raised a hand, as if in class, and asked what "we" were going to do if he moved and took on this new, bigger, complex, un-principal job. I even did the finger quotes on the we for him. The Principal blinked a few times, shrugged and repeated that he'd drive here every weekend to see me. I needed to give him a push. (Where are stairs when you really need them?)

I reminded him of the "emotional committment" conversation. One of the reasons he wasn't "emotionally committed" was because we didn't get to see each other very often. So, how would the "emotional committment" progress if he moved away and we saw each other less? (I chose to leave the finger quotes out of it that time, but really really wanted to use them...)

The Principal, drinking beer faster than I am at this point, told me not to worry about it. Ha. Ha-ha. I wanted to smack him. Just stand up and in classic Knot's Landing fashion lay a straight armed smack across his face. You know, the type of slap that takes a woman off balance so she lurches forward, follows through with a hair toss back then yells "I never!" with breathless indignation....

He expects me to not worry about the fact that my first real relationship in over two years is about to end? Bah! Taking the peaceful route, I told him calmly I was worried we won't see each other every weekend like he thinks we will. Then what will happpen with the whole progression of committed emotions?

I believe there was some major babbling coming out of my mouth punctuated repeatedly by "I really want you to get the job." The Principal was waving his hands all over the place as if he could just air out the subject and be done with this uncomfortable topic of feelings. We probably looked quite funny out on his patio: Waving around like he was being attacked by miniture birds. Me squirming spasmadically.

In the end he just leaned forward, patted my leg and scrunched up his face.
"You have nothing to worry about." - The Principal

I think he muttered under his breath that he just hadn't said "it" yet, but its more likely that I hallucinated that part. I threw up my hands. "We speak different languages!" How am I ever going to get anywhere with this guy? But the Principal just laughed and gave me a smile with twinkling mischief in his eyes.

I wanted to smack him again. I wanted to at the very least shake the shit out of him so he could see how serious I am. Women need reassurance, damnit. Instead we went for more beer.