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Anastasia stands up and demands my attention. She wanted my opinion on a rather irritating male experience she had just encountered. I stood up immediately and ignored the work on my desk.
Apparently, she had this man friend, I use the term "man" loosely, who had recently become available again. He had a child around the same age as hers and they had breakfast one morning. I, of course, had to finger quote breakfast to make the nearby boy co-workers giggle. Well, afterward this friend had asked Anastasia out for drinks later in the week. Even though he seemed somewhat self-focused and collects records and had to live downtown to be where the "hipsters" are...
She thought "Why not?" The Force was not with her, my friend.
All week she heard nothing from him. At all. No plans to be made, not a hi, not a how's it going. Nada. On Saturday, when they were supposed to meet Anastasia's plans changed around some and she texted him to see if later in the evening would work. His response:
Dude: I have to work late and not sure I can meet. Stay tuned...
She tuned in on making some alternate plans. Hasn't heard from the guy since the incident a couple days prior...
Her question was: Was she stood up, or just merely blown off.
My answer: Both. And by an asshole, so technically she was lucky.
This seemed to be the guy's MO. When he was available he would want to hang out and then blow her off when he got with someone else. She was willing to have drinks to see if he had changed, despite her better judgement that assholes NEVER change.
All was quiet until last week. The guy had surfaced again and was texting her. Wanting to know what her plans were for Friday. Anastasia was blunt- she had a date. This immature "man" had to pipe in how he had just met someone, and she was the most wonderful person ever and soooooooo beautiful. He even sent Anastasia a picture of this new girl. Really? Are we in junior high? My love life is better than yours, neener-neener-neener! It was such a remarkable way to display his douchieness. While this brought home Anastasia's belief the guy was an asshole she still could not believe his stupidity.
It gets better. She rants again about his record collection. This 40 year old man, started a record collection and purposefully talks about bands no one cares about because he needs some cool hobby to make him seem hip. Not only does he refuse to shut up about these records, he says it with a Bostonian accent.
"Is he from back East?" I ask.
"New York, about half his life ago and before you ask, no. He doesn't say any other words with any type of accent. He spells it r-e-"
"Wait! He spells it? He has TEXTED it to you as a funny mispronounced word?"
"Yep. R-e-c-i-d-d-s. It is on purpose." She is nodding with this look like she's talking about a suicidal maniac. I am shaking my head in disbelief with the same astounded expression. Then I laugh hysterically. This guy is essence of douche!
"I am disappointed in you, Anastasia. How could you even consider going for drinks with this guy!" Although, I have been there more times than I like to admit.
This morning I came into work and Anastasia popped up over my wall wanting to know if I'd gotten her Facebook message. I shake my head. She hands me her phone like it is the Holy Grail, eyes twinkling. I had to read the texts that the guy sent her while she was on her date Friday.
Friday 10:42pm
How was your date?
Friday 10:54pm
I know this sounds shitty. But I am no longer in a relationship. I’m not feeling too good right now, but if you’d like to not sleep at home tonight, you can come on over.
My eyes are huge and I just stare up at her.
Friday 10:54pm
I don’t think you are cheap or anything. Far from it. I’d appreciate the company if you are up for it.
"What!" I break out laughing. This guy asks her how her date is going and then when there is no response 12 minutes later he thinks it is acceptable to booty-call her because he's broken hearted?
She shared this with her date, who has been a friend of hers for a while.
Her date's response (but not sent): This is Dale. We are on our date. I suggest you jerk off and go to bed, douche bag.
I am laughing and doing a little dance. Oh, she should have sent it!!!
Saturday 8:01am
I’m sorry about last night. She let me go and I was spiraling. Hope all went well. Text me later if you’d like.
"Didn't he just meet her? How do you break up and spiral down in under a week? This guy is an idiot!" Maybe he sent new girl a text about his recidds and she bolted.
I ask this over and over again, but really! WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEN?!?
When did they ALL go over to the Dark Side?
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