Reuniting with the Girls

I hadn't realized how fast time can fly when you are so focused on dating.  You miss out on your friends, feeling good, and actually living.  Kelly, Julie and I had worked together years ago and became close friends in the process.  Julie and I bonded over our breakups right before she changed jobs.  Kelly was my cheerleader when I started dating again and supported me through losing my dad.  I helped her through her emotional roller coaster with a schizo male infant. 

We all ended up working away from each other and getting into relationships that took us even farther away mentally.  Before we knew it, our daily interactions moved to weekly, monthly, quarterly, then bi-annually.  It didn't seem that long, because we had our heads up our asses.  Kelly and I were closer when we worked together, but afterward Julie and I were in closer contact.

Julie and I have been pretty much been attached at the hip for the past few months while she's been mentally raped by the man she hoped to marry.  (I say this lovingly, Jules, regardless of how he may be a nice guy who unfortunately has issues, he has fucked you up.)

Anyway, Julie wanted to get together for a drink at Whole Foods last night.  Sigh.  I agreed to go after yoga for one beer, then home because I was scheduled to work Saturday.  Then I hear Kelly will join us, which makes my heart sing!  It has been close to six months since I've talked to her.  (Grad school often gets in the way)  Then it dawns on me....  It has been 2 years since all three of us have gotten together!

Kelly is still the same.  She's an over-achiever, looking to relocate to Dallas because she reunited with her "first" 3 months ago.  She's looking into getting a regional job out there so she isn't just moving for the guy.  I had forgotten how they can get together.  Both type A, interrupting each other and changing one another's subjects so fast, but never forgetting to go back to what they were talking about.  I just sat back and enjoyed laughing at them. 

Before we were getting ready to leave, I noticed a cute brewer who was noticing me.  Stupidly I mentioned it to Julie who promptly became a bloodhound.  Kelly got up and acted like she was going to go grab him.  I was on the brink of a heart attack before she sat down cackling at my horror.  I'd forgotten what a good actress she can be.  The hunt still continued for Julie, however, as we were walking out she spotted the dude and all but ran after him.  Long story short... He's married and has 3 kids under the age of 4.  Julie later commented that he was a fuckwad for not wearing his ring.  She's always ruining my guy watching by talking to them.

As we head into the parking lot Julie asks "Are we heading home?" which Kelly firmly answers "No."  What?!?  She has to work tomorrow too and it's already past 10pm!  I hang my head.  I should have remembered that going out for one drink with Kelly was a fictional concept.  I followed them to another bar where I had a brief flashback from high school of follow the leader to desert parties.  More beer.  More talking over one another.  I got made fun of for folding my legs up under me on the bar stool (thank you yoga).

Kelly got spiritual.  Julie and I on either side of her managed to keep respectful faces, bobbing our heads in agreement.  The ex who broke Julie's heart hadn't believed she was coming out with us that night and started calling her over and over.  I tried to climb over Kelly to grab that damned device out of Julie's hand and tell the dude to fuck off for not trusting my friend but was fended off with a shove and Julie telling me not to be like my mother.  If I'd had balls, they would have been kicked.  But it was all out of love.

I sat out on the patio while they talked at each other about completely different subjects all at the same time.  Curled up in half lotus in a chair, an old guy and a young guy asked if they could join me.  Whatever.  I was thoroughly enjoying the mayhem of my evening out with the girls.  The guys started talking to me and it was like "Oh, they didn't just want to sit at the table?" The old guy was hilarious thinking I was 23.  Best. Guy. Ever.  "No, really.  I'm 31."  Maybe I should wear skinny jeans more often...

At any rate, the crazy continued, I got into my nicely buzzed social place and talked to people.  Julie and Kelly cracked me up. 
Then it happened.  Old Guy wanted to let me know that Young Guy was too shy to ask me out.  Remember, I am in a nicely buzzed place place so I generally say whatever the hell I feel like.

Old Guy: Would you be interested in him?

Me:  I don't really date.  It's a lot of work.
Old Guy laughs hysterically.

Me: Is he a douche bag?  Because I'm warning you, I have mace in my purse.
This is a lie, but I point at my big bag as if that will convince him.

Old Guy:  No!  He's a nice guy!  He's just very shy.

Me:  They all say they're nice guys. 

Old Guy's Equally Old Brother:  He's an engineer!  They make a good a living, you know.
I gave him a very pointed look.

Me:  That doesn't matter.

Old Guy's Equally Old Brother:  Of course that matters!
More pointed look associated with saucy head wiggle.

Me:  No.  It doesn't. I can make my own money, thank you very much.

Old Guy to Brother and Most Interesting Man in the World Look-Alike: He will really like her!  She's sarcastic!

Me:  How many kids does he have?
This becoming a prerequisite question at my age and I fucking hate it.

Old Guy:  He has one.  A boy.  I think he's 10?

Me:  He's your friend and you don't even know how old his kid is?

Old Guy:  Come on... Just give him your number?

So I was lead outside before I could change my mind.  Old Guy called Young Guy over to me and we huddled while Old Guy explained how he told me about Young Guy's being interested but shy and all that.  I'm trying really hard and probably unsuccessfully not to roll my eyes.  Young Guy puts his hand on my shoulder to apologize, reassuring me that he hadn't meant for someone else to do his talking and he would really like to go out with me if I was interested in him.  It wasn't douchey so I gave my number and promised to answer if he called. 

At this point the bloodhound barges outside, sees what is going on and eyes Young Guy critically.  Julie begins to interrogate both parties while I try not to giggle at the absurdity of the evening.  I had been laid back, minding my own business and now "Mom" was trying to judge how shitfaced my suitor was while weaving a bit herself.

I am standing back enjoying the show thinking "Wow.  So if you decided you want to stop dating men will ask you out and your friends will cock block you every step of the way."

Waking up, still partially inebriated the next morning I didn't care if Young Guy called me.  After all, "they" say you will never meet your soul mate at a bar.

Four hours later I get a text

Julie:  So the funniest part of my nite was when my phone rang and this woman who loves me tried to hurdle over a bar stool to answer it with the look of fire in her eyes... lol

Me:  Haha!  Sorry about that :/

Julie:  I loved it, u r totally my sibling

Me:  Lol!  I've been so good at being supportive, I deserved one night of acting crazy in your defense :-)

Julie:  Haha totally! It was great, reminded me of any one of my siblings.  Including me!]

Me:  Yeah, but you would have been worse!

Julie:  Hell yeah

Back to Beyonce: 
Who Run the World? 
Girls!