The Engineer Gets Weird

I had hoped the Engineer would just fade away but I am never that lucky.  A few days after our date I was in Kohl's, the most horrible store on earth, trying to find a suitable pair of black dress pants to wear at my job interview.  And I also needed a new bra, as the one I was wearing every day since I bought a year ago had elected to go rogue and was currently stabbing me in the rib.  Shopping when you have to is painful. 

Anyway, my phone starts buzzing and I see it's the Engineer calling.  Sigh.  I would call him back when I finally made it home and let him down that we are not a match.  I listen to his voicemail while sifting through the 1.2 million bras messily arranged so no one would EVER find the right style and size.  He was going on and on and ON about how he knew how much he liked me when we met at the bar and felt like he really connected to me on our date and had some great ideas for our next one but would rather discuss over the phone than by voice mail so if I could just please call him back?  I hate to say this but I was a little freaked out.

I arrived home after spending too much money and way too much time, but a girl has to look good for an interview, right?  I saw I had a text from the Engineer.  It was another novella.

Engineer:  I feel like I know you pretty well.  You would have answered my call or text if you were interested in going on another date.  I am disappointed, but I am a big boy and I understand the complexities of meshing to two lives.  Kate, I respect you opinion... I would appreciate any advice you can give me on dating or how I may come across.... be honest...... I always want to better myself in any way I can.  thx

This text made me unreasonably angry.  First of all, he had called me little over an hour ago and he had no idea what my schedule is like or what I might be doing.  The disappointed shtick?  Ugh!  We went out once!

Me:  I just got home from shopping and have not had a chance to listen to my voice mails.  I see you called at ten to 7, and I have not received any texts from you today.  I'm sorry I did not respond to you more quickly.

That may have seemed nice when written down but I looked furious tapping it out.  He responded quickly apologizing and still wanting to go out and asking what I bought.  I bought "None of your fucking business!"  I told him that dating is tough but he should really not assume the worst and wait to hear from someone.  And because I am so nice/stupid I agreed to go out one more time where I would tell him thanks but no thanks.

The Engineer continued to send me long texts which he inserted his "talent" for story telling and I wanted to scratch out my eyes.  The holidays came and went and the day loomed nigh that I would have to see him again.  After the hell of Christmas, I needed time away from people.  So I told him I had a cold.  He asked if I really wanted to get together again.  Scented my lie and called me out on it.  I told him I hoped I would get better soon.  The out of nowhere he sends this long text, in poem format about how he had doubted me and was so relieved I still wanted to see him and how now all that concerned him was my health.  Gak!  I chose not to respond.

Needless to say, he took this as it was intended and sent me another goodbye.

Engineer:  Let's face it.... When I am single I go out too often, I drink too much and I forget how old I am.  I usually worry about dating a girl I met in a bar.  I don't want to date someone who drinks too much or too often.  If I meet a good girl then they will think the same of me.  Basically, it never works.  I;m just about sure that is what happened here.  If this was going to work we would have gone one a second date by now.  I appreciate the time you have invested in this and if I see you out again I hope you will say hi.  Thanks for everything.

What a freak show. 

Me:  OK.... I wish you well.  Happy New Year.

But later that night my version of Kelly's justice police flared and I thought, what the hell.

Me:  I have to tell you I've been put off by your ability to assume.  you met me in a bar on the rare occasion that I went to one.  I was not looking to date but liked you and your friends and took a chance.  The holidays are stressful and time consuming therefore limiting communication.  I felt like you were constantly looking for my rejection and, quite personally, I had not gotten to know you well enough to form an opinion on the matter.  I really do wish you well and hope to see you out again but please do not assume you know what someone else is thinking or feeling.

Justice served until he came back with apologies and wanting to go out again.  What the fuck is wrong with him?  Oh, OK.  I would love to go out with a needy, assuming bastard who's texts are longer than my hand.  Sounds dandy.  But wait, sorry I have already committed to sticking my head in the oven.

I did what I should have done in the beginning.

Me:  Thank you, but no.