Date with Blast From the Past

Following week after having recovered from too much bedroom gymnastics with the Blast from the Past, I went to his house again after cleaning. I would not have sex with him. I would institute my boundaries. If this guy likes me, wants what I want, he will attempt to date me. If not, we go back to that see you every couple year's to make a bad decision in between relationships type of deal. I could live with that.

So we talked, watched some TV, then he tried to make out with me again. It started to get hot and heavy. He started to undress me. I restated my boundaries, he kept pushing. I strengthened my resolve, got dressed and left. It was a friendly parting that resulted in a date two weeks later.

BP came up to my house for the first time.

So, he got here. No plan. Dinner? Drinks? A movie or bowling? What sounds fun? Honestly, what would have been fun was if he had stayed home and I could go back to my sweatpants and brooding. It turned out to be a good night though. Inspiring, really.

Picking out a restaurant was like repeating myself. I eat meat, damn it. Just not beef or pork. Yes, chicken and fish are considered meat. Over Mexican food the conversation was strained for a bit. So I asked what the youngest age girl he ever dated. He looked sheepish, but was honest. Last year, a nineteen year old.

Immediately I fell over clutching my heart. Ouch! What the hell was he thinking? Oh well. So I asked how he liked the conversation with her. He laughed and said it was awful. They had nothing in common, he'd thought she was older, blah blah blah.

Then I got my first ever BP quote: "I've never been the type o date more than two while I'm sleeping with one kinda guy."
I immediately texted it to myself so I wouldn't forget.

He went back to talking about his daughter, how he was debating over a Barbie house of a puppy. I voted for the Barbie house. Less upkeep.

As we ate I asked again what he was looking for in a girl. My standard interview questions.

"I want someone who loves me, loves my daughter, who I have fun with and is happy to see me when I get home." I stared at him a minute.

"It sounds like you do want a puppy." He just laughed and shook his head saying I know what he really means. "Okay... so what are you looking for in a puppy?" He was stumped. I think he got the comparison. When I later told my guys at work about this they were all appalled and felt sorry for any man who braved a date with me.

We ended up bar hopping and drinking too much. I took him over to Mel's, she got on his case about how he should call me rather than text if he was really interested in me.

Back at my house, yes I gave in and had sex.n I was drunk and old and stupid. I thought, maybe it will be better this time... He started out trying to get creative and I just took his face and said "Gentle." And he was. He was so gentle I cried. Not because it was magical, but because I knew I should not be doing this with him. There was no love, no emotion between us. My body was used to that requirement now and it broke my heart so deeply to think I was never going to have it again. He didn't see me cry or know. But it happened all the same.

He slept with his arms around me all night on the wrong side of the bed while I cried silently some more. In the morning he rubbed that tender part of my back and broke my heart again with longing for another man. He left early and didn't ask me stop by his house when I was in CG that night.

I went back to my resolve that nothing can come of this. He may be trying date me CG style: Hooking up and spending down time with a person resulting in a potentially unsatisfying relationship that you endure simply not to be alone.

But I want more.