Merry Christmas

This year my sister and brother-in-law were spending Christmas in Kentucky or Arkansas or Tennessee or some other backward country state. That left just my lovely mother and I. Sigh. I really am going to be that old spinster who gets stuck taking care of her mother while everyone else has a life of their own.

Monday before Christmas, BP texts
"What are you up to tonight?"
I respond
"Hot yoga at 4"
No response.

The next day he asks if I want to get a drink after work. I am chagrined to take a day off of yoga but decide I can swing it. We meet at a local bar I used to frequent at work happy hours with Work Guy. Meeting after 6 was ideal as I would not be running into the evil bastard who broke my heart.

What can I say? It was an uneventful evening where we sat over a couple beers talking, sort of, and were waited on by the same waitress who waits on my work people. BP had made it clear what he doesn't like to hear from women, ie cute anecdotes about their animals, how they shopped for wrapping paper with their mothers. I didn't know what to say.

At some point he mentioned how his friend had scored tickets to Guns N Roses. I had a heart attack! I love GNR, love, love, love them! BP goes on to say how he wants to get tickets. I dance around in my seat saying how I would , yes again, love to see them. No forthcoming invite. I wanted to kick him.

Later, BP says how he will have a lot of people at his house for Christmas Eve and Christmas, but he might be able to sneak away to see me. Ummm.. ok. What the hell? He can't invite me over or stop by my mom's place for an hour? I didn't push, I didn't ask. If this guy actually liked me at ALL he would stop making statements of maybes and start making some plans. Small plans. Like why don't we find a time to hang out for a little while during all the Christmas turmoil. Even if it doesn't pan out, it would still be nice to know he wanted to.

I asked what he plans on doing with his Monday off. Well, thought he might pick up some toys, meaning these off road things he sells for a living, and take out his friends. I mention how excited I am to have Monday off. No invite. Then, oh my gosh, maybe I could come along, we'll see how things work out. Can you say brush off?

We talked about people from high school, I made a couple comments about guys I had dated, which surprised him and I think he was beginning to feel like I was a used toy that too many people had played with. I really need to learn to keep my mouth SHUT.

The following day at work we got out two hours early. Work Guy was absent, therefore I was invited to happy hour with my old and current bosses. I went back to the bar I had been to the night before hoping that it was our waitress' night off. No luck. She artfully asked in front of people if the guy I was in with the night before was my new man. No, we were just dating. My old boss asked "Why, Miss Kate, are you dating again?" I felt so uncomfortable. This guy was good friends with the ex. I shrugged and said "You could loosely term it that way."

Christmas Eve I drove to CG with dread. I love my mother, I really do. But we have never gotten along very well. Here I am, destined to spend the next 30 hours with her by myself while she will be wishing that my sister was there. It went better than expected.

We ate dinner, watched a couple movies and went to bed. In the morning we opened a couple presents and ate breakfast. With the yoga DVD and mat I bought her, I pushed the idea of a little yoga before I got ready to clean offices. She muttered through out the entire thing that she couldn't do it exactly the way the bitch in the tape did,

A look at my phone had a text from BP. He stopped by the house an hour before, didn't want to brave the dogs (he had met before) in the front yard and left a present next to my car. Hadn't tried to call. Just texted when he left.

I was bewildered. One hand said "This is a nice gesture." The other said "Why would he get you a gift and not bother to say hello when he left it?" So I retrieved the holiday bag with my name written on it from beside my tire. It contained a bottle of perfume and his business card. Weird. The perfume smelled good but why did he leave his business card?

I texted him thank you and sorry I had missed him. All I got back was "Your welcome" which made me miss Work Guy because I had always accidentally misused your for you're and he had claimed it was endearing. Lying bastard. After a few more dwindling texts I didn't hear from BP that evening or the following day. My house was silent and I felt like the holiday cheer had completely bypassed me, as if this year Christmas never really came.

Facebook revealed that BP had gone out with his friends and their toys, but he never asked what I was doing. The next day I read an article which said if a guy doesn't make the effort, or makes way too much effort, he's not into you. I nodded. This was correct. I tried texting BP, a few dwindling texts in response. I give up. This guy, who I have known for almost half my life, is a nice guy.

He's just not going to be the guy for me.