Dating Again

Jacob texts me every day. Insurance Guy texts me almost every other evening. They want to go out again. My once peaceful weeks are being abducted by friends and dates. Should be excited, but it only makes me tired.

Jacob is too young. Insurance Guy reminds me too much of the stand-offish Principal. It all feels pointless and too soon.

After much back and forth about where to meet and what to do in which the youngster kept replying "I'm up for anything" I agreed to meet Jacob for a couple beers Thursday night at a local sports bar. After work I rushed home to the dogs and realized I had a shortage of clean clothes to wear on this second date. With a shrug, I pulled on my comfy Public Enemy T-shirt, baggy jeans and faded Converse. It doesn't really matter what I look like.... He's easy to talk to and we ended up sitting around for two and a half hours chatting. I was again reminded of his awkward gait as he walked me to my car. We hugged, he half kissed my hair/cheek again and we parted ways. I hoped it was the end of that.

Saturday, I had planned to meet up with Insurance Guy. Last time we went out he had texted me after about wanting to have kissed me. So I pretty much knew that would be resurfacing later in the evening. Date jeans looked good, black boots, tight tank top and movie star hair. We walked around the busy downtown Chandler area while I bitched about wanting to turn into pyro-Carrie at work. Dinner was mostly me talking, like usual, at a micro-brewery. We walked around some more, talked about the townhouse he bought there and would be able to move into in a few months.

He asked if I wanted to hang out more.... I declined. It was only ten o'clock but we had run out of things to talk about and I was ready to go home and read a book. He walked me back to the parking garage, we said our goodbyes and hugged. Insurance Guy looked at me expectantly then asked if he could have a kiss. I giggled at the absurdity of it (and I hate giggling). I leaned in and kissed him. It was just a peck. He didn't deepen the kiss. I leaned away, we smiled, I tried again for something more. We just pecked at each other. Me leaning in more, his hand rested lightly on my back like he was just humoring my attempts. I stepped back and we laughed. He walked away and waved.

Back in my car I refused to shake my head in case he could see. What the hell was that? I thought he was interested but there was nothing there and I searched. I texted Jacob who had been trying to see what I was doing all evening. Then bought dog food for the starving puppies.

Jacob wanted me to go out with him on Mill. I responded with "Oh Lord No." I had been too old for Mill Ave 5 years ago. I am ancient now. Insurance Guy texted that he had another great evening and couldn't wait to see me again. Really? Could have fooled me. I responded simply "Me too."

Sitting on my patio with a beer, the dogs and re-reading the magical words of Sarah Addison Allen I resolved that while I was flattered by the attention of both men, neither were right for me. I need to be drawn to someone, not just treading water until someone more interesting swam by.

Screw dating. I'm destined to become a morally defunct nun.